O Lord,
How is it you know how to answer prayer
in a way that moves my heart so deeply.
To use those around me,
to remind me of your love for me.
You tug at my heart to help me remember once again,
how precious you are to me.
I thank you Lord,
for speaking through the people in my life,
and using them to bring me back to you.

A soul of praise

O my soul, praise the Lord,
for He is good and worthy of all praise.
May my voice reach the heavens,
as I sing of what the Lord has done.
He reached out his hand into the darkness
and caught a hold of my hand grasping for light.
He pulled me out of the pit,
I intentionally jumped into.
He placed my feet on solid ground,
when I had been walking on shifting sand.
He covered me with his loving embrace,
and restored my weary soul.
He whispered words of joy into my ears,
and lifted the burden on my soul.

How can I not sing praise to my Lord,
who has set me free?
Even if I tried to close my lips,
my body would dance in worship of You.
I will join with creation,
in worship of You, our Creator.
I will lay myself down at the foot of your throne,
in awe and honor You who have renewed me.

Joy and Sadness

Darkness surrounds,
even though I am engulfed in light.
Surrounded by joy and praise,
a sadness penetrates my soul.
For leaving what I've recently found,
and going back to where I am,
is too much for my soul to bear.
I have found community,
which I have been yearning for.
The broken image of community,
has slowly begun to repair itself.
I realized how much I have miss,
this sense of belonging that I feel.
Yet, this place is not for me,
for God has called me elsewhere.
Lord God,
ease the sadness in my heart,
lead me to the community you have prepared for me,
and back into your arms again.

About You

What is it about You,
that makes the world go round?
What is it about your kindness,
that you walked amongst the crowd?
What is it about your grace,
that you sacrificed yourself for us?
What is is about your mercy,
that you broke the chains binding me?
What is it about your joy,
that gives my life meaning?
What is it about your love,
that you choose to love a sinner like me?
What is it about you, Oh God,
that makes the world go round?

Creep

It is so easy to let sin creep in,
To see with proud eyes the good inside.
Constantly comparing to those around,
Putting yourself above the crowd.

Yet, as time passes,
the heartbeat weakens.
The Joy and Peace fade away,
and all that's left is an empty shell.
The words fall short in prayer,
and the mind cannot focus on the Word.
The sin let in, became a wall,
and grew beyond your control.
Separated from the source of life,
the realization hits,
as empty eyes reach for answers.

All have sinned and fallen short of God
and no matter how good you think you are,
An empty shell is all that will remain
is the Source is traded for empty sin.

So, come as you are,
broken, empty and weary,
back to the cross, which transformed you.
repent and leave all burdens there,
In the hands of the Creator of all.
Return to where the journey began,
and seek God with the heart of a child.
Find rest and peace in the shadow of His wings,
and be filled with his unending love once again.

Repair

God,
here I stand, all of me,
emotionless at your feet.
I don't know how it happened,
the turning of my heart to stone.
The fire so brightly lit,
came out of the turbulent storm
only as a small flicker about to burn out.
God,
I just can't seem to feel.
The ups and downs of the last year,
have felt me completely dry.
God,
I don't want to be like this,
but it is so hard to care.
I long to be filled with your joy once again.
and held in your warm embrace,
but I cannot do it as I am alone.
God,
Take my heart, my body, and soul,
dismantle and repair,
renew my spirit and faith,
and help my heart to beat once again.
Bring me back to where
You want me to be.

Solid Rock

Weary,
As I struggle to keep walking
with exhaustion a step behind.
Doubt,
enters my mind and embraces all thought
as I fight to keep my head up.
Looking back along this path,
I cannot help but question what I have been doing.
The frustrations of today,
point to the inabilities of yesterday,
making me aware of my own shortcomings.
These thoughts weigh me down,
as I sink into the mire of doubt.
Trying to look up but darkness
blocks out your light.
God,
I cry out to you from this place,
for I cannot make it out on my own.
Help me Lord, out of this mess I've made,
and place my feet upon you, the solid Rock

A Voice Calling

What have I been doing, feeling my way around in the dark?
When did I lose hold of your guiding light?
I'm so sick and tired of groping about alone,
for I cannot see through the darkness around me.
Why can't I get things right?
Why do I keep letting myself stumble in the dark?
My faith and hope stays strong,
while my body chooses to go its own way.
I'm tired of this darkness,
the chains which bind my soul.
I long to be free of this,
yet cannot do it on my own.
The taste of freedom you have given me,
lingers in my dry mouth,
as I call out your name from the midst of shadows.
For you are the only one who can rescue me from myself.
I hear a voice calling out my name in the distance
and as I turn in that direction, am blinded,
by the radiance of the rising Son,
and I know once again,
A new beginning awaits me.

Parting

A parting can cause great sadness
With those you call Friend.
The memories of time spent together
Have intertwined your our
Each life impacting the other
In ways that are beyond measure
But now its time to part,
for the path we walked together
Now sends us in different ways.
In the process, sadness will follow,
separation can at first be hard to bear.
But take heart my friends,
For parting does not mean goodbye,
Because the memories we have of one another,
Held within our hearts
Will keep us close together
No matter how apart we are.
So, hold onto those memories
of the time spent together
for they transcend time and distance,
Awaiting the possible day when new memories can be made.

Listen

Where are you going, always in a hurry,
place to place with no end in sight?
What are you doing, filled with stress and worry,
performing for others with no goal in sight?
How are you feeling or have you forgotten
to feel for yourself in the midst of your act?

Why is it always the same?
All you ever do is run away.
To strive for the things you want,
when I have everything you need.
There are some that hear me, those who listen to my voice,
but even they stumble and lose sight of me.

Why do you sit here in this room of silence,
if you do not even care to listen to me?
Why do you even acknowledge my presence,
if all you do is try to use me for your selfish needs?
I gave my life for you, died as an innocent criminal,
for what you have done and continue to do.
I freed you from the chains binding you,
yet you chose to put on those chains again.

Open your eyes, can you not see,
your life is not what it is created to be.
Can you not sense that something is wrong?
The emptiness inside just keeps getting bigger,
no matter what you try to fill it with.

Life is not supposed to be all plain,
living day to day, always the same.
But you have settled for that,
instead of the life I have for you.

Open your ears, can you not hear,
the silent tears of your hurting heart.
Take a look inside, you know its there,
the gaping hole eating away your soul.

For just this moment, please listen to me,
I can fill your every need.
Bring healing in the brokenness
and fill the emptiness inside

I am here because I love you,
child of my own creation.
I want to fill you with the love and joy I have for you,
but I will not unless you want me to.
So in this room of silence,
let your heart speak to mine
and in the wordless exchange,
accpet my gift and invite me in,
and seek me from this day.

Decision

When will we decide, God
to let You out of the box we've placed you in?
We think we know you so intimately
but in reality we do not know you at all
We call you, "Everlasting, Unconditional love,"
yet we manipulate those made in your image with selfish desires
You are "Lord of Lords and King of Kings,"
but in our lives, we give you no authority.
We say you are "Creator of all that is good,"
only to abuse the good creation you have given us.
We call you "Immanuel, Always with us,"
yet our daily lives ignore you presence.

Help me Lord,
to let you out of the box I've put you in
To surrender control and know you more,
so my life may reflect who I claim you are
and be a fragrant offering pleasing to you

Masks

Do you know who I am?
Can you understand what is going on inside of me?
Do you care enough to look past these masks I wear,
to see that I'm afraid of who I am?
Hiding behind thse masks, I cry out to be recognized
but I cannot take off these masks to let you see who I really am.
I have to pretend to be a certain person because that is who my friends want me to be
I have to act a certain way because my parents want me that way.
It seems like everyone wants me to be someone,
yet I don't know if its really me.

You see, I weat these masks because I am afraid
that you will see the real me and walk away
because I believe the masks I wear are the reason you accept me
instead of the real me hiding behind them.

I get so confused over who I am,
because of the pressure to be someone.
Sometimes, I do not even know what I am feeling,
even though I know something just does not seem right.
Is there someone out there,
that loves me enough to look past my masks,
and accept who I am struggling to become.
To show me I do not have to be afraid
and does not pressure me to be a certain way.
Is there someone like this out there?
Can you come find me?
I will be waiting for you,
hiding behind my masks of insecurity.

Fallen

How did I get into this rut?
It started out simple, life was going just fine
and suddenly here I am,
in a hole of my own making.
What did I lose sight of along the way?
How did I get distracted from the path I must take?
Everything is jumbled and it does not make sense.
When did this feeling take over me?

God, I know you are near,
and waiting on me,
to get my act back together,
so You can continue to set me free.
Why am I stuck in such cycles,
where things go up and down all the time?
God, I feel enslaved by everything around me,
freedom seems nothing more than just a dream.
How far must I fall before I can finally learn to look up
and see the beauty of the sky above,
To see Your work in all there is,
and grasp the hand of love held out to me?

God, here I am
in the depth of this hole I have created.
Hear my cry, for my heart yearns to be free,
of these chains which continue to bind me.
The memories of your love grow dim,
as darkness surrounds me.
Yet in the midst of darkness,
I hold my gaze on a tiny beam of light,
splitting the darkness to remind me of your presence.

Oh, God,
Hear the wailing of my heart,
crying out for your love.
I am broken and enslaved,
in this pit I'm in.
You are the only one who
can lift me up,
and make me whole once again.
Lord, do not delay,
for my strength fades by the day.