Diverge

The moment I've dreaded for so long has finally arrived.
As tears soak my cheeks, I've come to say goodbye.
For many years now, we've walked along the same path,
only to now find our paths diverging and heading separate ways.
The gratitude of your friendship, I cannot express
for words fail to describe the feelings I hold inside.

You allowed me into your life, to share this time with you,
to look into your heart and experience God in you.
You life has left an imprint on my heart and soul,
and even though specific moments may fade away,
this imprint will never change.
You have shown me how to love, to cherish, and forgive,
and that presence is more important that the words I ever said.

Parting is a dream I never wanted to come true,
but now that its reality, I must face the truth.
Please remember, that even though we part,
the Spirit keeps us together no matter where we are.

That paths we take now diverge,
but we never know whether the Father,
will bring them back together again,
somewhere down the road

Again

I've come to a crossroad again.
As I stand and survey the paths diverging in front of me,
my heart is filled with uncertainty and fear over the decision I face.
"Are you telling me its time for a change?"
I ernestly ask God, hoping for a decisive answer.
The answer did not come, but the argument continued.
"but God," I would say,
"my heart and soul are poured into this path,
the pain would be too much to bear."

In a gentle breeze, a whisper responds to my doubts,
saying, "I was here before you came, and I will be here when you are not.
Your loved ones are in my hands now and forever and I will care for them for eternity.
So do not fear for them, for I have a plan for them just like I do for you
So stop doubting that plan; just trust and follow after me.
Don't look back but look ahead to the great pilgrimage awaiting you."

Grasping at the Great Mystery calling out my name,
tears of sorrow and joy fall freely as peace wells up in my heart,
In the midst of emotions the true light shines,
pointing the way to the Father, who created me.
I begin to walk passing the blood stained cross of the Son,
and in being strengthened through the presence of the Spirit,
I run with abandon to the Heart of love

Behind

Did you see me underneath the tree,
wallowing in sorrow over broken dreams?
Sitting without the strength to stand
hoping for relief from the burdens crushing me?

A man in white walks up to me,
while I sit moping underneath the tree.
Reached out his calloused hands,
and said, "Come follow me."

Somewhere in the midst of the moment,
I knew this man would heal my heart and soul,
and free me from the weights which burdened me.
So reaching up with shaking hands,
I grasp the offered hand of salvation
and stand upon strengthen feet and follow,
leaving everything behind.

Plunge

Continue to walk on the path of life,
restlessness stirs within my soul.
A voice inside whispers, "it's time for a change."
and I follow its guidance till I end up next to a vast ocean.
I walk out onto the dock and at its edge I stand.
Surveying what lies ahead, all I see is endless water.
I ask myself, what am I supposed to do?
only to feel a gentle nudge telling me to dive in and swim.
But... I stammer, I can't see where am I going,
or have the energy to make it to the other side.
God, I am willing,
but I'm just not ready to take this dive right now.
I stand at the edge, trying to build up my courage,
for I want to follow the Call and dive into the deep unknown,
yet fear of the unknown keeps me from jumping right in.
All of a sudden, a strong wind blows and before I know it,
I find myself splashing around in the endless water.
God, I cry out, I'm not ready yet,
and the reply I hear is, "I think you are,
just trust in me and you'll reach the other side."
Building up all the courage I could muster,
I take a deep breath and plunge myself into
The great unknown.

Thank You

Here I stand upon the hill
on which my glorious savior died.
An innocent man, God incarnate,
who hung on a cross to set me free,
from the slavery of my way of life.
Can you see His hands and feet,
through which they staked him to a tree?
Have you placed your hand upon His side,
pierced by a spear and flowing with blood and water?
Have we forgotten the price Jesus paid
for the lives of you and me?
Why do those who claim to remember
live their lives like the cross has no authority?
The greatest gift ever given,
thrown aside to immediate pleasures.
The suffering of Christ stored away,
in the dark corners of our minds,
allowing us to live as we please,
putting ourselves back into slavery.
Gladly going back to the broken chains
for the cost of freedom takes second to desire.

God,
brand upon my heart,
the picture of the cross.
write upon my soul,
the sufferings of Christ.
Engrain upon my eyes,
the glory of Your freedom.
May I hold your gift always before me to remember,
Life is but a Thank you for the price You paid.

Pride

Walking along God's chosen path,
Trying to follow his guiding light,
I let my mind wander and find myself stumbling,
over the same rock in the path.
I lay there stunned, disbelief in my mind,
for my mind had been focused on You thus far.
Laying there, I think back to the previous day,
and I realize the signs of warning, which You gave.
With the flashing signs and the voice in the wind,
telling me of the moment of danger up ahead.
Yet, I ignore it all thinking I could handle it,
for I felt strong and focused on my goal.
I see now, I went at it alone,
without following You to guide my feet.
I approached the trap the enemy lay with confidence,
only to fall flat on my face broken.

God,
I'm sorry for leaving You behind because of my pride,
Instead of trusting Your advice, I thought I knew better.
I know now, I cannot avoid these traps,
unless I close my eyes and trust Your guiding hand.

Gratitude

The gentle sounds of crashing waves,
The towering sight of mountain peaks,
The embracing warmth of the noonday sun,
and the salty smell of an ocean breeze,
envelope me as I come to meet with you.
God, you are so amazing!
You hands carved the mountain top
and you spoke the sun and sea into existence.
God, these mighty works show your greatness,
yet you choose to come and be among the people you created.
Compared to you, we are nothing,
Our sinfulness just magnifies your holiness,
Our darkness insignificant compared to your light.
Our pridefulness shamed before your grace,
and our resistance melted away by your love.
God of the heavens,
Who am I, that you choose to create me?
What am I, that you sacrificed your only Son for me?
Who can I be, for your will to be done in me?
For life is not worth anything, separated from your presence.

Oh Lord,
Thank you can never be enough,
To express the gratitude of a healing heart.
Words fall worthless before the presence of my Savior
Who has rescued me once again from the depths of the abyss.
God,
You helped me back to the straight and narrow,
When I had strayed so far away
And now you are leading me down,
the path you created me for.
The forgotten passion, the stifled joy,
and the peace I left behind all rushed back to greet me,
like I had never left your presence.
The sorrow in my heart has been replace by your love
And I come as the sinner I am,
into your arms of cleansing grace.
I am made whole once again,
as I return to the part of me,
which I had left behind.

Growth

Why is it so hard to keep my eyes,
on the one and only prize?
Why does my heart waver and my mind wander,
when I know the path to take?
God,
Time passes even when,
I wish it to stand still.
The sun rises and sets,
on the horizons of each new day,
yet why do I pretend
that time is not moving,
to allow myself to stay
the way I am,
instead of continuing to seek,
after the image you want me to be.

My Lord,
push me to new depths
in my relationship with you.
Shatter the comfortable
and help me to strive after you

Distort

God,
I looked up at the night sky,
and was brought to tears by what I saw.
Not a single star lit the darkened canvas,
and sadness engulfed my soul.
The beauty of your star-filled night,
drowned out by humanities light.
The peace and quiet of flowing water,
replaced by the whizzing by of driven car.
Breath-taking sunsets, which ease the soul,
ruined by electrice and telephone poles.

Lord,
Humanity tries to get in the way,
to distort the beauty of the creation,
which calls out your name.
Help me to see past the distractions we creat,
and find a special quiet place.
here I can seek after you with my heart and soul
and draw close to your presence,
which my heart longs for.

Reflection

As the sunset colors fade away into the dark,
I sit and reflect on these past few days.
Of times of laughter, joy, and pain,
of silence, mystery, and a chance to pray
and of God's awesome presence breaking into hearts.

A seemingly endless hike to a hidden lake,
of struggles and courage brought to bare on the rock face.
Powerful moments of solitude and prayer,
brought all together with time to share,
our lives with one another, creation and our God.
Opening eyes to the possibility of a love
greater than we could have ever imagined.

O, Lord
Giver of Life and steadfast love.
Words fall short of the gratitude I feel,
For the chance to experience the power of Your love,
which showed itself powerfully real...
These past few days.

Compromise

God,
How did I get here?
Why have I left myself drift this far?
The devotion that once burned,
has been replaced with a lazy compromise.
I have settled for less than your best,
and now find turmoil raging within.
A burden too big to shoulder on my own,
but kept inside to fool the world.

Holy Lord,
You have never settled for less than my best,
yet I have given in to the status quo.
God,
I ask of You to lift me from this place.
To shatter the part of me holding me back from you.
My heart's desire is still a small flame within me,
and I need your Spirit's fire to ignite it once again.

Goodbye

Why is it so hard to say goodbye?
As the world can’t wait to pass you by.
The memories of a moment blur within your mind,
A kaleidoscope of images of your life gone by.
Learning to live within the confines of each other,
Blending space as we grow close together.

Memories of the challenge of the Great Climb,
Walking forward through wind and ice.
Wanting to give up but pressing onward,
Grasping hold of the goal in sight.
The great challenge to overcome,
This battle with the only one,
To keep us from the goal.
Within ourselves this battle we must fight.
Triumph becomes ours, as we overcome ourselves
Shattering the obstacles in our mind,

More memories to add,
Why must parting be so sad?
The trek in the rain,
Early morning walks,
The time we spent together
Nothing to take its spot
But the time has come
For us to leave this place.
The roads that we travel
May all diverge from here
But maybe some tomorrow
Our paths may cross
Bringing back memories of yesterday
To bridge the time we lost.

Place

So far from home longing to be free,
of these chains which burden me.
I wrap myself up with these chains,
hoping they will drive away the pain,
of the emptiness building inside.
Given the taste of what it could be,
the lack of it, still burdens me.
Just beyond my grasp it lies,
for complacency has a hold of me.

How I wish to find a place,
where life would not seem,
like one big race.
a place where peace,
flows like a stream.
where rest can be found,
in the shadow of Your hand.
Where joy surrounds,
like the starry sky above.
Where Your presence never ceases
to point us the way.

God,
Bring me to this place,
for I cannot get there on my own.
I grow weary from this fight
and cannot go it alone.
Surround me with your love,
O God,
and grant rest,
to my weary soul

River

God,
along the flowing river,
I sit surrounded by your beauty,
listening to the sounds of creation,
not drowned out by the sounds of humanity.
Why do I feel so at peace here,
when my heart is restless elsewhere?
Why does my heart long for this,
When I belong where you placed me?

Questions abound,
with no answers in sight,
just the gentle rolling of water,
which makes time seem to stand still.

Meet me here, God,
in the presence of your peace.
Restore joy,
where busyness abounds
Refresh my spirit,
for it is weary from the strain of life.
Refocus my heart and my life,
so I solely live for you.

Shout

Let the trumpets sound,
and the angels sing,
for He is here among us,
the King of kings.
Shout it on the mountaintops,
join creation in its chorus,
singing, "the way is clear, there is only one,
come meet the King's only son.
He has come to free us from our chains,
lighten our burdens, and show us the way
to an intimate life with the King."
Spread the word,
write it in the sky,
"God will give you the life you're longing for,
just come to his son who will show you the way."

Good to Me

God,
Why are you so good to me?
I am but made from dust,
so small compared to your majesty.
Yet, you knew me before the beginning of time,
and shaped me with your holy hands.
Gave me a calling, a purpose to live,
and a passion for your holiness.
In my sin, I almost drowned,
yet you sent your son as a sacrifice for me,
to bring me back to who I am created to be.

God,
I do not deserve any of your blessings,
or the grace you have shown me.
For it is you who has given me life,
and the only way I can show my gratitude,
it to live my life for you.

Tumbling

Tumbling,
as invisible hands try to trip me up.
Staggering,
as silent blows hit me left and right.
The Enemy is out in force,
trying to slow me down.
Hitting me where it hurts the most,
He's trying to win the battle over my soul.
The Enemy has already lost the war,
but he is trying to take as many down with him.
Out of the darkness,
blow after blow assails my body,
as I desperate try to take the next step.

God,
I need your strength,
to keep moving forward.
Cover me with your hands of protection,
refresh me with your loving grace.
For I refuse to lose,
but I cannot do it on my own.
I need you Lord, more than ever before,
to walk alongside of me as I continue my journey.

Weary

Lord,
I come before you, tired,
for day to day,
it all seems the same.
Everything, from the weather
to what I do,
sucks out the little energy I have.
I have gotten away from you, once again,
trying to strike out on my own,
I have neglected my energy source.

God,
Why have I not visited your pasture of rest,
or sat under the shadow of your peace?
Why have I ignored your fountain of love,
or looked past your banquet of joy?

You would think I would have learned my lesson by now.
Distance with you just leads to weariness,
and life becomes bland.

God,
lead me back to your presence,
let me drink deep of your grace,
and find rest in the fullness of your presence.

Wash

Why is it Lord,
that we feel so far from you?
We feel you're out of our reach,
when you have never left our side.
Help us realize, Lord,
you are always near and come to you
to be washed white as snow.

The world is broken
and drifting far away,
from the perfect creation,
you made in the first place.
You hear the cries of your creation,
pleading, "Wash it all away."

People are dying,
around the world.
Children are crying,
for they have no home.
Yet we walk in our little bubbles,
while the rest of the world begs,
"Wash it all away."

We ignore the poor,
and the hungry.
We are way too busy,
to give them our time.
The homeless freeze on the street,
while we sit in warmth and eat fancy treats.
Silent prayers rise up to heaven,
asking, "wash it all away."

We focus on ourselves,
turning our backs to the world,
for we cannot deal with ourselves.
Running from the fear of exposure,
of the imperfect person hidden inside.
Running day to day,
never stopping to look in the mirror,
to see the silent tears beneath our eyes.
As we kill our own hearts,
our soul is screaming,
"wash it all away."

God,
may we lay our pain and fear,
at the foot of your cross,
bringing before you our own brokenness,
and bowing before your great righteousness.
May we hear your quiet words whispered to our souls,
"Jesus' blood has washed it all away."

Heartbeat

God,
why are you so good to me?
I do not deserve anything you have given me,
yet you continue to bless me with even more.

I could never thank you enough,
for picking up the pieces of my broken heart,
and making me whole once again.
You helped me find,
the rhythm of my own heartbeat.
I had gone for so long trying to live,
according to the rhythm of society,
but in the process ended up killing my own heart.

God,
you set me free from myself,
so I could find what my heart truly beats for.
You helped uncover the passion I had buried deep within.
You helped me realize that the sounds of my own heartbeat,
beats for you.

God,
I look around and see the stress and sadness,
of those who have forgotten their own heartbeat.
Why are we so eager to kill our own hearts,
for things that do not last?
We bury our passions and joys to get ahead in this world,
all the while, the heart weeps,
for it wants to beat to the rhythm,
You have created it to.

God,
Why can't we let go of control?
Why are we so afraid of the freedom you bring?

Lord,
Help me, God!
Let my life be an example,
of someone who dances to the rhythm,
of my true heartbeat.

Words

Words can never seem enough,
to express my love fore you.
You bought me from my brokenness,
and put together the shattered pieces of my heart.
You found me in my loneliness,
and reassured me you are always near.
You caught me in my foolishness,
and taught me about your wisdom and justice.
You search me out in my sinfullness,
and sacrificed yourself to set me free.

All you have done for me,
I could never, ever repay,
and my words seem to fall short,
of any way to sing your praise.
Yet, when words fail,
my soul begins to move,
in rhythm with your creation,
which always sings praises to you.

Flowers and trees have no words,
but they dance for joy in your presence.
The rocks and mountains cannot speak,
yet their presence testifies to your majesty.
The stars, which sparkle in the darkened skies,
radiate in awe of your loving grace.
Creation may not have words to express,
yet they all find a way to sing your praise.

So next time my words seem to fall short,
of expressing what my soul is crying.
I'll stop and listen to creation,
and realize that the biggest way to sing God's praise,
is by living every moment in worship of God

Shadow

Why is it so easy,
to get bogged down in the muck and mire?
No matter how life's going,
the dirt always seem to pull me down.
I I try so hard,
too keep my head above the mud,
only to lose focus and find myself sinking.
It is like the light of day,
being swallowed by the darkest night.

Why is it so easy,
to focus on the things we can't do,
instead of on the freedom that God has given?
What are we so eager,
to wrap ourselves up in the chains of sin,
which Jesus' blood has taken off of us?
Why do we strive each and every day,
to be gods in our own lives,
only to fall and realize we cannot be in control?

The bigger picture can never be grasped,
as we stare at the shadows of our lives.
Turn around, look up, and realize,
that our shadow proves that God is lighting the way,
we are just looking in the wrong direction.

Cries for Love

Stop...
Listen...
Can you hear,
the sound of the tears,
shed by broken hearts?
Come with me,
I'll help you see,
the silent cries for love.

Let's walk down a busy street,
not really sure of who we will meet.
See in that alley, the little body,
of someone who has ran away from home.
Leaving behind all that is familiar,
to live on the street where drugs, rape & other dangers abound.
Can you imagine they run to someplace safer?
You can see that little body shaking in the cold,
but can you hear their silent cries for love?

Walk a little further, to a different part of town,
and you'll notice all the houses are small and the same.
Into the government housing area, we have come,
and you'll see the children playing around.
Yet beneath the temporary smiles on their face,
you'll find the fears of lies embraced.
Parents in jail, addicted to drugs or abusive,
the truth in their lives is very elusive.
For society tels them that they can succeed,
if they work hard enough to overcome their place.
Yet those that do are pushed right back down,
by the structures of racism, which are still around.
Told they aren't good enough, lazy, or misled,
we wonder why they turn to violence instead.
Those kids in the margin, you can see their pain,
but can you hear their silent cries for love?

One more place to visit,
I hope you will hear
the resounding cries for love filling the air.

We walk much further,
out of the city and across the way.
We come to an area,
where the houses aren't all the same.
Yet they are big and with three car garages,
you'll find more wealth than you would normally imagine.
The kids are in school wearing the newest fad,
carrying ipods, cell phones, or newest gadgets.
All seems good,
who could ask for more?
But below the surface,
you will find something more.
Parents so caught up in their work,
their kids don't get their time.
Tremendous pressure to succeed,
for that proves their worth.
Fear of making a mistake,
and disappointing their parents.
Being set-up for failure, because all they do,
is strive to be perfect, which no one can do.
All the things they own, the money they have,
cannot fill the emptiness the kids feel inside.
The pressure and stress beat down upon their bodies,
can you hear their silent cries for love?

The journey has ended,
I hope you were able to see,
the cries of the kids,
crying out, "Love me."
kids are being abandoned by society's values,
who see them as profits instead of humans.

Who will step in,
to hear and fill the need,
of the world's children,
who's hearts are crying, "Love me."

Apology

God,
I am sorry, Lord.
For once again, I've turned from you.
Why do I let myself get distracted,
to dwell with the things of this world?
My time with you gives me such joy and peace,
yet I trade it for disappearing pleasure.
Why can't I just focus on you?
My heart's desire is to be close to you,
but my nature within keeps struggling to win.

God,
you are more than I could ever comprehend,
yet I try to fit you into my box of limited understanding.
I try to shrink you, in order to feel like I can control you,
all the while, struggling to make sense,
of the war raging inside of me,
between my sinful nature and who you have created me to be.

O God,
you have given me deliverance,
and broken my chains,
yet I find myself putting them back on,
even when I don't want them to be.

God,
I'm sorry,
for this is not what I want to be.

God,
grant my heart, peace, so I can rest in you.
grant my soul, joy, so I can rejoice with your creation.
grant me your love, so other may see Your love,
grant me strength, so my life can be built on the Rock that remains

Send

God surveys the world below,
searching for the one's who will go.
To seek the lost and heal the broken,
feed the hungry and serve the poor.
He sends the Spirit to find the one's
who will heed his call and leave it all.

The Spirit goes to the most obvious place,
where people gather to worship and praise.
The Spirit sends them a message of God's love and grace,
and shows them the need of the world in pain,
The people eagerly get out their checkbooks and ask "how much?"
Yet the Spirit replies, "It is not money I seek.
I am searching for the one's who are willing to go."

Some ignore the Spirit's calling and write big checks,
and leaving feeling good for the difference their money will make.
Others frown and turn away,
and as they leave you will hear them say,
"Sorry God, but I don't have the time."
"Sorry God, but I just can't juggle another responsibility."
"Sorry God, but that not part of MY life plan."
"Sorry God, but my life's more important than following you."

The Spirit is saddened,
for the people who say they love God,
do no seem to understand God's love at all.
The cries of broken lives bring tears' to God's eyes,
yet His people are too caught up in their own lives,
to udnerstand the truth of His grace,
by which he saved the human race.

The Spirit roams throughout the land,
searching for the one's who will listen,
to God's voice calling them to a better way of life.
The question is there, "Who will go?"
To step into the lives of others and make a difference.
The Spirit is waiting, will you be the one to respond,
"I am here, Lord. Send ME."

Masquerade

Have you ever been to a Masquerade?
Where people hide behind masks and play.
Let me take you to the Masquerade,
Where the battle of life is daily played.
The masquerade isn't for you or me,
But to catch a glimpse into the depths we must proceed.

Into the building we slowly walk,
Through the big double doors standing guard.
Into the office we must go,
For we must label ourselves to join the flow.
Out the door and down the hall,
Feeling encroached by the metal locker walls.
Stopping ourselves in the crosshairs of battle,
We await our glimpse of the masquerade.
Seconds tick by as we hear the gentle quiet,
Mixed with murmurs of the dance of the masquerade.
Finally, now, the time has come,
A bell rings and the world explodes.
The quiet shattered by voices of the dancers.
Countless bodies flow through that hall,
All dancing the dance of a masquerade ball.
The final number has just begun
And soon their masquerade will be done.

But before the end, my promise I will keep
A glimpse of the masquerade, for your eyes to see.
Stop, look, the queen just walked by
Followed by her minions, she thinks she owns the sky
Her minions follow her beg and call,
For she has power over them all.
Yet if you looked past the mask she's wearing,
You’ll see the pain she bearing.
For powerless she truly feels,
And perfection is her life's ideal.
Control over other's she must have,
To lessen the pain of loneliness inside.
For pity must be given the queen,
For the face under the mask can never been seen.
The fear of rejection of who she really is,
Forces her to constantly dance in the masquerade.

Turn your head, there he is.
The boy strutting like the stud he thinks he is.
Behold the king of the school,
You can tell he thinks he's just so cool.
Followed by his minions and fawned over by girls,
The king looks like he owns the world.
But take a look deeper into the eyes uncovered,
And you'll be surprised to see the pain inside.
For in being the king, you must be a "man"
Yet the ideal that he seeks can never be reached,
For the ideal "man" is but just a myth of society,
Forcing boys to kill their feelings.
The king must become someone he's not,
In order to keep his powerful spot.
Yet, the king must be pitied, along with the queen,
For the mask can never be removed while on the scene.
For if the mask was removed, everyone would see,
The king isn't the person he's supposed to be.
So all the King can do is dance in the masquerade,
And in the confines of his bedroom, where no one can see,
Shed the tears of pain and cry himself to sleep.

A few more examples and we will depart,
For the masquerade is almost over for the day.
There go the jokers and the clowns,
The ones who cover up their frowns,
And entertain everyone around,
For the attention makes their joy abound.
This bit of attention in the masquerade,
Is the only thing that gets them through the day.

Now, one's focus must turn to the saddest ones,
For they never got to choose the mask that they wore.
The outcasts, troublemakers, misfits and loners,
Labeled and masked by the royalty and minions.
Look beyond the mask they are forced to wear,
And you'll see the silent tears of pleading.
Wanting to be rid of the masks,
To choose for themselves who they are supposed to be.

Then there's the biggest group of them all,
The content in who they claim to be.
Yet even those have fears inside,
Of letting anyone see who he or she really are.

The tragic story of the masquerade,
Is one that is played out everyday.
All children learn to dance and play,
On the battlefield of the masquerade.
Freedom and truth are barely found,
For those without masks do not abound.

Do you now remember your masquerade?
The one where you danced and played.
Hiding behind masks who you really are,
Just to be part of the fakeness around.

Walk the halls of the masquerade,
Where the children dance and play.
Yet look behind the masks that they wear,
And reach out to who is really there.

Thoughts

Have you ever stopped and wondered in the midst of the going,
where you are coming from and where you are going to?
Are you so caught up in the next to do,
that you forget who you are and who you want to be?
Society's screaming, faster... faster...
the more you have to do, the more you are fulfilled.
How did we ever get caught up in the lie,
that life is about having the busiest schedule?
What ever happened to the moments,
of a child sitting in quiet awe of the world around?
Wake up, open your eyes,
cause all you're seeing is the world blurring by
Slow down, take a look,
for all you're doing is running from the loneliness inside.
Rest, be silent,
go against the urge and understand yourself.
For the truth of understanding cannot be found
In the midst of the going.
Only in quiet will you ever hear,
the whisper of wholeness.

Twelve

Have you ever wondered,
what it would be like to be twelve in 2006?
Do you believe that things are much different,
from the time you were twelve?
Let's take a journey and listen to the walls,
who hold the secrets of those who are twelve.
The walls speak of a time always changing,
of mood swings, hormones, growing and thinking.
Our ears bombarded by unheard cries of the hurt,
caused by cliques, gossips, bullying, and mean words.
The walls echo with the sound of planning,
how to ruin a girl who doesn't know her place.
The ridicule, dirty looks, backstabbing and abandonment,
all signs of a girls unwantedness.
The stories continue, the saga unfolds,
of the constant battle of those who are twelve.

Do you hear the cries of those who are twelve,
who try to live like society tells.
Be a "man" or "woman" they are constantly reminded,
yet even though they strive, the goal is beyond them.
Told to fit inside the box of which no on can fit,
the twelve’s daydream of all the what if's.
For in the process of cramming into the box,
the twelves are realizing all that they've lost.
The box, you see, if just but a dream,
one that disappears the harder you reach.
When you find that the box has vanished,
you'll find a twelve who's dead inside.
Society says to those who are twelve,
being yourself is not allowed.
Kill your emotions, obsess about your weight,
money makes you happy, isn't society great.
Power is everything, shortcut are a must,
step on others to raise yourself up.
Do you hear the echoes of those who are twelve,
the secrets held in their school halls?

The battle is raging, each one competes,
for to be number one is all they are told to seek,
Grades are everything, tests determine who you are,
cheating is ok if it gets you an A.
Disconnected, alone and afraid,
the twelves are all struggling to find a way.
Some do better for guidance they have ,
from adults who's love tell them to be who they are.
The battle is fought day to day,
but the focus is on learning and getting an A.
The healthy development of life is threatened,
in the school halls of those who are twelve.

Would you feel safe in these halls if you were twelve?
Where the stories are lived and the tears are shed.
We cannot change our age or go back in time,
but steps into the halls of those who are twelve,
And show them THE LOVE to guide their way.

Banquet

The call goes out throughout the land,
For the King’s banquet is at hand.
All who hear are invited to come near,
And partake of the banquet of grace.
Come dine on the everlasting feast,
Of love that will put your soul at peace.
Come as you are, in your rags or your riches,
Whether you live in mansions or dirty ditches.
Will you join in the rejoicing,
Of those who have found life’s great blessing?

All are welcome, the price is paid,
By the King’s only son, who obeyed,
The wishes of his loving father,
To make your suffering no longer.
Come feast upon the bread and cup,
Over which the son broke and bled,
His own life, a sacrifice he made,
For the sake of you, the ones who are invited.

The King’s banquet is at hand,
The doors open, the table set,
Will you accept your invitation,
to this banquet of grace?

Hear

Have you ever stopped,
In the midst of busyness,
To open your ears and hear,
The sound of creation’s chorus.
The rhythm of the beating rain,
Which praises your Holy name.
The symphony of the stars above,
Basking in your heavenly love.
The dancing of the swaying trees,
Proclaiming all your mighty deeds.
The crashing of the ocean waves,
Performing for the one who saves.
The harmony of earth and seas,
Resounding thanks for He who fills needs.
The silent awe of the rocks around,
Praising of your joy abound.
The trumpeting of the smallest flower,
Reminding us of your amazing power.
The melody of the angels from high,
Singing praise for the one who chose to die.
The singing of all you’ve made,
Acknowledging the peace you gave.

Lord, may my voice join,
With creation’s chorus,
To cry of my love for you,
And thank you for all that you do.
May this small gift that I bring,
Cause your angels louder to sing.
I pour out my heart in the silence,
When I open my ears and hear creation’s praises to you.

Complacency

Is it ever going to change?
Day to day,
It’s all just the same.
Waking light to sleeping night,
Moving around without a fight.
Moment to moment,
Like a dream,
Reality becomes complacency.
Colors disappear, emotions fade,
And all that’s left is the day to day.
Living like a robot,
Present yet disconnected.
Is this really how it is supposed to be?

What ever happened,
To the me who was free,
Of the burdens I now feel?
I once knew Joy,
That could not be contained,
Yet now it seems like a dream,
To good to be true.

Dream

Life as a dream,
Moving unseen.
From place to place,
Solely focused on the race.
To gain the world,
Yet forfeit the soul.

To grab hold,
Of all the spoils,
While trampling upon
The heads of the weak,
In order to cover up,
Our own brokenness.

Life as a dream,
Moving unseen.
Is this the dream,
We were created to see?

Midst of the Quiet

In the midst of the quiet,
I hear a gentle whisper,
Tugging at my soul,
Who’s longing for a home.
I strain my ears
To catch the speaking breeze,
And grasp peaceful words,
Spoken just to me.

“You are mine and mine alone,
and I will never let you go,
for I formed you with my bare hands,
my child so perfectly formed.
I created you with a purpose,
A life, a goal, a dream,
And if you ever feel lost in the moment,
Just open your ears and listen for me,
In the midst of the quiet.”

Turbulence

O God,
What’s wrong with me,
Why can’t I be the person you created me to be?
Why do I turn so far,
From what my heart knows is right?
Turbulent rapids cannot compare,
To the war raging inside of me.
The things I’ve held,
Has caused me to walk away,
From the love of a God so pure.
The struggles of living life,
The way I know is right,
Has taken its toll and left me…
Weary and torn.

I long to walk in your pasture of rest,
Along the river of peace,
Drink deep of the fountain of grace,
And be made whole once again.

O Lord, God of Wonder and Might,
Forgive me for walking the path of selfishness,
Help me back to the way of righteousness,
Teach me of your law and justice,
Bring me closer to You.

Wandering

A wandering mind,
Loses sight of the Holy,
Searching endlessly,
for the right path to travel.
How could I have known,
Which way to travel to you,
If not for your love,
Lighting the path at my feet.
Why do I wander,
Even though you show me the way?
Why do I stumble,
When I see the path that I walk?
Why do I walk away,
Even though you’re my only hope?
How strong is my faith,
When my words are not acting?
How strong is my hope,
When I do not turn to you?
How strong is my love,
When I walk away from yours?

Praise

Lord,
How I long to sing of you glory.
To join the chorus of creation, crying out, “Majesty,”
And chant with the drumming waves about your love.
To dance with the swaying leaves in praise of your presence,
And stand in awe with the mountains over your power.
To burn like the sun with passion for your will,
And fall before you like the rain in honor of your mercy.

God of wonders, God who creates, God who loves,
May my heart burn for your presence.
May my soul long for your will be done.
May my mind reflect on the power of your Word,
And may my actions be pleasing to You in all that I do.

Real

What is this I’m feeling inside,
The way your presence makes me feel?
You laugh chases away the rain,
You eyes say things will be ok.
You taught me how to laugh once again,
And brought back my hidden smile.
It’s been so long since I’ve felt so free,
Of the sadness that has burdened me.
Words could never express what I feel inside,
But this dream is actually real.

Longing

How I long,
To get past these walls,
To be able to look into your eyes
And see your heart.
Finding out who you really are,
Behind the masks you wear.
I want to know,
What makes you tick.
Where God is in your life,
And where your passions lie.
Who you are on the inside,
That is what I want to see.
Looking past the outward signs,
And see you for who you really are.
What has God done in your life?
Where has he been real?
What does God mean to you
And how does that show through in your life.

Holding

What is this thing inside of me,
Not letting me be who I want to be?
What’s holding me back,
From sharing my life with you?
What is this wall in front of me,
Which I can’t seem to get through?
I think I’ve found,
This fear inside of me.
Shattered feelings from the past,
Buried beneath thick glass.
Scars that remind me,
Of the pain I once felt.
I look around and I can feel,
This fear stirring inside of me.
Can I trust you?
I don’t know
For some,
I have no place to put it.
It’s holding me back,
Not being able to trust.

Desire

What’s going on inside of me?
It’s so hard to understand.
The swirls of emotion and thought,
Keeps my mind constantly going.
Your peace within is what I desire
To keep my mind focused on you

Your joy keeps me lifted up,
When the world around doesn’t make any sense.
You give me Your strength,
When all mine is gone.

You have done so much for me,
To make my life what it is today.
Many times you have lifted me out of my pit,
And placed my feet upon solid ground.
When I focus my eyes upon you,
All my trials seem to fade away.
The work of your Spirit within me
continues to forge me into who you want me to be.

Lord, search my heart
And hear its desires.
The longing to be constantly near you,
To be in your presence all of my days.
Having a mind always focused on you,
Oh, what joy that will be.

Lord, God, take all of me,
Continue to mold me into who you want me to be.
My life is useless in my own hands,
But in yours can make a difference.
A tool for you,
Is what I want to be.
To grow in your Spirit,
And help those in need.
To put aside myself,
And focus on others.
To give all of me,
To those who are lost.
Lord, I want to be,
All that you have created me to be.
Take my life,
And make it yours.

I lay down my life at the foot of the cross
I pick up my cross to follow you.
To this world, I want to be dead,
So that a true life in you, I can live
I pray that my every breathe,
Will bring glory and honor to your name.

Brick Wall

What do I do when my words seem to hit brick walls,
No matter how hard I try, frustration chokes me.
A heavy burden falls upon my shoulder.
My own strength and patience fail me,
My own means, just lead to disaster
Oh Lord, All I seem to do is mess up.
I cannot do this on my own,
For I have already tried and failed.

Grant me the patience, Oh Lord,
To show these guys your love.
Speak through me, give me the words to say,
That will pierce their longing hearts,
And reveal to them what is missing in their lives.
Oh, Lord, I see myself reflected in these guys,
And all I want to do is love them like you do
To be a true friend, which I barely had
I want to share with them all that you have done for me
Because without you, there would not be me.
Hard times lie ahead for these guys
And I don’t want to see them go it alone.

Lord, I pray that you will use me in their lives,
To be the presence of your love,
And in being part of their lives, may your name be glorified.

Lord, give me strength
For my strength is already gone
Fill me with your joy
For my burdens are wearing me down.
Lord, let your name be glorified,
In all that I do for you.

Inside of You

What’s going on inside of you,
Changing who you are?
What’s burdening your heart,
The invisible weighing you down?
I can see the turmoil inside of you,
It is all over your face you know.
In your eyes I see the pain,
But I don’t understand it’s cause.
It hurts me so much inside,
To be a spectator on this painful ride.
Tears well inside,
When I see the joy missing from your life.
When your smile fades away,
There so much I wish I could say.
I wish I could take that burden from your back,
To take your pain and make it mine.
Yet that power I do not possess,
To soothe your soul and give you peace.
But I do know of someone who,
Can do all the things I wish I could do.
He’s done it for me,
So I know he’ll do it for you.
Let go of what’s holding you down,
And lay it at the feet of Jesus.
Give all your cares to him,
and he’ll set you free from your burden.
He’s always going to be there for you,
And he’s never, ever, going to leave you.

Bring It

One after another,
Silent blows assault my body,
Trying to make me stumble,
And turn my heart from your presence.
My body begins to ache,
But I still struggle after you.

Blow after blow,
I feel the pain coursing through me,
But I’m not going to give in.
I’m not going to turn away from you,
That choice already made,
I continue to strive toward you.

You never said that this would be easy,
There was no promise of a gentle path.
Why should I turn away when the world is against me,
Where the neverending blows try to break me.
For the promise that I hold onto,
Is the promise of You.

You are my strength in the midst of weakness,
You are my direction when I feel lost.
You are my hope when all seems hopeless.
You are my life when death surrounds me.
You are the promise I long to hold onto.
For you alone are worth the cost.

I call out to my assailants,
“Bring it on,”
For if you are for me,
Then it doesn’t matter who’s against me.
You will guide me through this fight,
Like you have done so many times before.

Follow

What can I do now,
That the road ahead is pitch black.
Everything that I once held certain,
Has crumbled around me,
And I find myself, alone,
Staring into the darkness ahead.

I feel hurt,
As I shed tears of sorrow,
Yet deep down inside,
I knew what to do.
I call out your name,
And in the silence that follows,
I hear you whispering, “Follow me.”
Turning toward your voice,
I take a step into the void of the night.
Another step I take, not caring what lies ahead.
I focus on your voice and walk into the darkness, saying,
“I will follow you Lord, no matter what the cost.”

Courage to Face

Lord, this fear inside of me,
Is holding me back from who you want me to be.
I tremble at the thought of the past,
Of all the mistakes I have made.
Will people see past the masks that I wore,
To see the person I am today.

Lord, I don’t know how to let this go,
For this is where you’re telling me to be.
I don’t want to keep living with this fear,
But the mysterious unknown lies ahead.

Lord, give me the strength to face this fear,
The courage to walk the road ahead.
For even if my world shatters around me,
I know you’re always going to be here.

Trust

All the things of the past,
Lead me back to this one place.
You walking towards me on the sea.
I hear you calling out my name,
I yearn to be with you walking on those waves.
I take a step and there I stand,
Gazing at your mighty hand.
Beckoning me to come to you,
For that is what I want to do.
A few more steps and now I see
You loving eyes staring right at me.
Yet my eyes lose focus and I begin to tremble,
For now I see all those waves rushing right at me
I start to sink and I cry for help
And at once you are there to rescue me.
You take me back to the shore,
And comfort me with your warm embrace.

The journey I have taken thus far,
Has led me to these shores so many times.
And each time I get closer to where you walk,
But then my trust begins to crumble and I start to sink.
Yet I know that one day I’ll make it to you,
But it is something only you can help me do.
For I alone do not have the strength to make it,
But your spirit at work within will help me to reach you.
When that day comes, I know I will rejoice,
For it is then that I will be able to give myself fully to you.

Restless

With loneliness abound, my soul begins to stir,
Restless with a yearning to be free of this fear.
A fear so entrenched into the core of who I am,
That its coming bring with it memories of the years gone by.

How did I make it through those years of torment?
As this feeling covered my soul and made me feel alive yet empty.
The sorrow and bliss, which gave my life meaning,
Blinded my eyes from the truth hidden within.
But I was led to the truth and it set my soul free,
For I found You in the depths of my heart,
And taking a hold of your outstretched hand, You lifted me up out of my pit.

But even now, as each passing moment strengthens the desire of my soul,
The feeling once again has taken control.
The voices I long to hear are whispers lost in the wind.
The faces I long to see are beyond the horizon, out of sight.
Into the pit, I once again begin to fall.

Why have I let my soul be emptied of the great joy that you bring?
You brought me life yet I have decided not to seek you .
I walk in the path, which you have chosen for me,
But I thought myself clever and choose to take the lead.

Why O Lord, did I not put my trust in you?
Around ever turn it seems that I try to take control.
To let go of your hand that was leading me and strike out on my own.
My pride led me straight to this pit,
Which I longed never to see.
I thought I could make it, trying on my own,
But I find myself falling deeper into this pit I fear.

My arms are flailing wildly as my soul begins to cry,
Weeping,
Knowing what sorrow lies within the darkness.
I thought I could make it, trying on my own,
Yet now surrounded by darkness, I plunged into despair.

In that moment.
I realized my mistake.
I cried out to you,
Hoping you were close enough to hear.
Yet even before the words left my lips,
I felt your hand grab hold of mine,
And gently pulled me out of my pit.

You greeted me with a warm embrace,
And wiped the tears from my eyes.
In my shame, the only words I could muster were, “I’m sorry,”
Yet, as I looked into your loving eyes,
I knew you had already forgiven me.

O Lord, you knew me before I was born,
You know my weaknesses as well as my strengths.
Yet, you choose to look past these faults of mine,
And gaze into the core of my soul
To see that it yearns for you.

Back in your presence,
My restless soul begins to rejoice,
For once again you have saved me from myself.

That pit I wish never to fall into,
Yet I do not know what lies ahead.
All I know is that I walk with my Savior leading the way,
He will keep me steady along the way,
As long as I hold the hand that guides me and not try to go it alone.

Lost Dream

A dream that is lost when I wake,
Of Joy that the world cannot take.
For all around the world pulls me down,
Leaving me no strength to pick myself off the ground.
Is there more to this life,
Then the pain that I feel?
My dreams tell me so,
But I just don’t know

One day I cried out your name,
While I was drowning in my own shame.
Since that day, the dream became reality.
Joy found me and lifted me from my frailty.
Broke my chains,
Real life I gained.

Keeping my eyes on you I have found,
That the world can no longer weight me down.
I feel alive like I have never felt before,
Because my sins, you chose to bore.

Bliss

What gives life meaning,
When everything seems to pull you down?
Darkness surrounds you,
As happiness fades away.
Through your eyes everything looks burdened,
With nothing in sight to lift the weight.
How did things get this way,
Going through life with no reason to smile.
Trying to keep it all inside,
Not wanting other to see what I hide.
These feelings buried deep within,
Fester, with no way for me to win.
Pain, what a gift!
Letting me feel like I am alive.
Can I be freed from this bliss?
To be alive in ways more than this.

Surrender

Lord, I am unable,
To do anything on my own.
These hands of mine,
Are always messing up.
All I want to do,
Is to make something for you,
To bring a glimmer to your eye.
The more I try by myself,
The less I am able to do.
Can I create this one gift,
To bring a smile to your face.

Lord, I have realized,
The one gift I could bring.
Letting go of all control,
Oh Lord, to thee, I give me.
Work through me, I pray.
Use my hands and feet,
To show my heart’s desire.

Christmas

Up in the sky,
On this night the angels did cry,
“Glory, Glory, to you this night,
A Savior born to end your plight.”

A start shone bright,
For the light,
Brought this one night.
Pointing the way,
To the babe that would lay,
In a manger full of hay.

A babe born to save man,
Following God’s ultimate plan.
As a man he’ll die,
On the cross, he’ll cry,
“Forgive them Father,
for they do not know what they do.”

For the sheep that he led,
His own blood did he shed.
To wash us clean of our sins,
To lead us back to God again.

Up in the sky,
On this night the angels did cry,
“Glory, Glory, to you this night,
A Savior born to end your plight.”

Wish

A mind always focused.
A will constantly seeking.
A heart forever loving.
A soul longing to be close.

This is who I yearn to be,
Forever being near to thee.
To carry my cross and follow you,
To die to myself and be made new.

Lord, to be your servant is what I desire,
For only you can quench my fire.
Lord, you are the only one I truly need,
Because for my sake you choose to bleed.
Washing me white as snow,
In order to bring me back to thee.

Lord, help me to become the man you want me to be,
I’ll lay down my life, if your will be done.
Who will you send, O Lord?
My soul cries out, “Send me.”
Use me to glorify your name,
So in the end, I can be a tool for thee.

Missing

What is this I feel inside?
Never felt this way before.
A yearning from deep within,
A longing for something more.
The cries of a lonely hear,
The searching of an empty soul,
And unshed tears of despair,
Formed inside me this gaping hole.

What can take away the pain?
I have tried all these earthly things,
Only to find the hole still remains,
So in sorrow my soul continues to sing.

In my searching, I came across,
A man they called Jesus,
He brought to the world, love, hope and peace,
And died on a cross to save us.

In him I found the missing piece,
Which made my soul complete,
And at that moment I surrendered,
My every heartbeat.

Shatter

I stand frozen are my life shatters.
Fear invades my mind, burying hope in its darkness.
I’m worn out from fighting this struggle called life.
My strength leaves me my body starts to crumble.
Tears fall as my soul cries out in agony.

Suddenly the darkness fades away,
Warmth fills me, peace flows over me,
Weariness leaves me, joy consumes me,
My fear dwindles as hope shines brighter,
Strength pulses through me as a hand lifts me.

I turn and stare into those loving passionate eyes.
I feel that warm and comforting embrace.
I hear the quiet whisper of reassurance.
I see Jesus holding my hand with compassion written on his face.
I know that he will be with me… Always.

Crossroad

Walking down the dark path of life,
Following a small glimpse of light,
I come up to a fork in the road,
And stop, not knowing which way to go.

I stand and examine the two paths.
Hoping that something will point me in the right direction.
One way calls my name because of its appeal,
While the other looks treacherous and harder to travel.
As I stand and ponder which way to turn,
I realize the light, which has led me this far, has disappeared.

Suddenly, a stranger clad in white walks up beside me
And says, “my son, why are you still standing here?”
I turn to him and say, “Sir, I do not know which way to take,
For one is appealing, but my soul cries out for the other”
The stranger turns to me with a fiery glow in his eyes and says,
“Follow your soul for that is the path you were created to take,
Even when the path becomes difficult to travel,
I will be right by your side helping you take each step.
When you stumble I will help you to regain your balance;
When you’ve fallen and can’t find the strength to get back up;
I’ll be there to give you a hand and the strength to stand.”

I turn to examine the two paths once again and ponder the stranger’s words
But when I look back to give him my answer, he is gone,
All I hear is his reassuring voice in my heart and soul,
“Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.”
So with confidence, I turn back to the fork in the road,
And begin the next part of my journey.

Cry of Despair

Who do I have to be for you to love me?
I’m down on my knees ready to bleed.
The pain that I feel gives my life no appeal.
My hearts been broken in two, oh, what do I have to do?
Hold me tight in your warm embrace, putting my heart back into place.
Fill me with your unchanging love, washing me as white as a dove.
Give me strength to face each hour, Lord, please fill me with your power.
Lift me up when I stumble, and teach me how to be humble.
The price you paid for me, which you made,
You went through all that pain as the Lamb being slain.
On the cross where Jesus died, that truth I cannot deny.
Life was taking its toll, but you made me whole.
You’ve given my life meaning without any deceiving.
In you, I found someone who cares, while the whole world seems to stare.
You are the light in my darkness, leading me on the path of righteousness.
Oh Lord, I’ve made my choice; only to you I lift my voice.

Searching Heart

Oh Lord, where can I turn but to you.
I’ve tried to go it all along, but found myself unable.
Blinded by my pride, I thought I’d make it, only to stumble along the way.
I’ve come to my end, wanting to give in.
Peace become turmoil as joy turns to sorrow.
Life turns darker as hope seems to dim.
Loneliness invades as emptiness swells within.

Lord God, Almighty, hear the cries of my unshed tears
Bring me back to your heart,
Where love, joy, and peace flow like a raging river.
Fill me with your joy that I used to feel.
Fill me with your love that I know is real.
Bring down your peace; fill me with your zeal.
Bring back the hope, which your life revealed.
The desires of my heart, your will be done.
Life everlasting, love unchanging, grace unwavering
Fill me with your Spirit, Light me on fire,
Touch me with your awesome power.
Purify me, refine me, mold me,
Make me who you want me to be.
I am empty, Oh Lord, please fill my cup

Lost Hope

As tears start welling in the eyes of the hurt,
Thoughts of brokenness leave the heart torn.
Memories of happiness fade away into darkness,
Shadows of a face, linger,
Just out of reach of an outstretched hand.
The realization hits, the body crumbles,
While passing of a voice never to be heard.
The soul weeps, the body trembles,
For the touch of one so dear.
As the eyes open revealing the emptiness inside,
A faint breath is released.
Cries of the heart dissolve into the quiet of the night,
As consciousness slips away into the deep of the mind.