All of Me

Emotions rage within my soul,
As tears well in my heart,
Feelings and yearning to matter,
Wage war with my thoughts that I do.
Feeling forgotten by those who I love,
Fight against knowing they remember and care.
The battleground of my heart and soul,
Lies in pieces unable to be whole.

God,
I try to find refuge in you,
Yet I don't do what I should do.
I walk out on my own and fall apart,
Instead of dwelling in your presence.
I'm a failure at being your son,
Yet you continue to bless me,
Which I know I don't deserve.
So here I am, Lord,
Once again for more than the hundredth time,
To lay all of me at your feet.
To the foot of the cross I come,
with the burdens I chained onto my back.

Lord,
Would you break these chains once again
and take this burden from me?
Will you forgive me for my failures,
and wash me clean again?
Even though I know I am unworthy,
May I carry the weight of your cross,
sacrificing ALL of me for the sake of Your love?

Here I am Lord,
All of me, with my brokenness and dreams,
I surrender to the One who created me
and saved me from myself.

Forgotten

Walking life together leaves an imprint on your soul,
of the people with whom you walked along the road.
Memories of time spent bind you together,
even if eventually you walk down separate roads.
Yet, when you no longer walk life together,
each going on separate journeys,
you long for the presence of the others,
for they are a part of your soul.
Yet life goes on with each step forward,
each caught up in their path,
and even though the memories bind you together,
no matter what the distance may be,
they are also a painful reminder,
of how forgotten you feel.
For the life of others go on without you,
leaving you feeling like you are walking all alone,
even though your memories try to tell you,
your journey is not only your own.

Trying to bridge the distance,
to reconnect with the people in your memories,
can sometimes lead to joy,
but can also just lead to hurt.
For if your efforts are unrequited,
it just multiplies the pain.

Burning

A yearning burns within my soul,
A dream of holding a life of my own.
A fire that burns my heart to ash,
for it is still a dream beyond my grasp.
Why does my heart grieve for this dream,
When I have all you have given me?
Seeing the dream fulfilled all around me,
Feels like being stabbed in the heart,
leaving my heart and soul in tatters.
This yearning is so deep and real,
That I feel its who you've created me to be,
Yet I find myself staggering over the pain that I feel.

Is this how you feel Oh Lord?
Is this the pain that you feel each day,
as you watch your children turn away?
Do you yearn your children the way I do,
for them to come running back to you?

Lord,
Why can I yearn for you,
Like I yearn for this dream?
Will a greater presence of you,
fill this void that I yearn to fill?
Even though my heart bleeds with this yearning,
I will give it to you, Oh Lord,
and trust in your loving Will,
and wait for the day,
when this dream will be fulfilled.